Design in Retail hospitality.
They got a cake and sang a farewell song, its damn touching i swear.
I held back my tears as im afraid that it wont stop when it start. Then i will be like damn ugly.
Before i ran for last train.
Azura: Eh can i hug you quick quick !
I felt the hugged, it make me wanna cry when i think about it now :(
Miss really miss her so much so much.
Of cus my dearest peiling too and every one of you who had walked with me thru this 1yr.
It took me a yr to finally make this decision of trasnferring.
i type this like few months ago but i dont have the courge to post it out.
I have totally no idea what i want in life...
This is a super random post cus im having this super weird thought.
Im thinking of changing a new url and keeping it low profile ( not saying its high profile now ) but just want to let people who're closer to me know about me and my life.
Im in such a mess and lost situation! (waiting for my dae result) Worst is, i cant be bothered to go think and come out with a solution for it. Till people start to question and i give lousy answers, i start to panic. Which goes back to the topic for this post, I've no idea what i actually want in my life... That's why.
Thinking about what i've learn, did and how's my life for that past 1 yr. One word sum up everything: CUI ! (meaning horrendous)
All i can remember was, clinching onto my drawing even thou my eyes can hardly open, having the word "give-up" flowing thru and fro when i'm struggling with the never ending projects. Rejecting my girls invitation to dinner/supper/outing just to rush home and complete my work. One hand reaching for tissue and the other holding onto pencil, trying so hard to concentrate with the drawing while tears just cant stop flowing and making my vision blur at the same time. Wetting all the tracing paper but nothing is done.... On the side note, i feel that i can hardly please all the lecturers !! Sometimes, i try so hard to convince myself that my classmate are all going thru all this shitz too why cant i? My other self tells me becus i've no interest and more bull shitz excuses for me to stop school :(
Yes, im a big crying baby -.-
All i do when i met a problem is: CRY!
The amount of times i cried over this course is scary, talking about this i have and must mention this guy who had stood by me whenever i cry. (no need to read this part)
I know it pains you alot whenever i sob and can hardly talk, having all the stuff stuck at the throat....... But i couldn't control when i hear your voice, its just like a singal telling me that, yes someone is listening just cry, cry it all out.
Also,
thou i always call you up in the middle of the night, not even greeting you first and there goes all the vulgarities in the maximum vol. fiercest tone, and the most horrible attitude ever.
You still hold onto the phone, letting me finish the string of vulgarities then you talk. Yes, of cus you did complain to me about this horrible attitude (im changing, i promise), but still you ain't gonna give up on me :')
Thank you love!
Sometimes, i find it hard to express myself with words, that i hardly tell anyone how i really feel. Soon, i ended up feeling so miserable where i start crying to myself again.
This also conclude why is my temper so bad.
or i'm just too lazy to say how im feeling, its just too difficult.
This is a super random post cus im having this super weird thought.
Im thinking of changing a new url and keeping it low profile ( not saying its high profile now ) but just want to let people who're closer to me know about me and my life.
Im in such a mess and lost situation! (waiting for my dae result) Worst is, i cant be bothered to go think and come out with a solution for it. Till people start to question and i give lousy answers, i start to panic. Which goes back to the topic for this post, I've no idea what i actually want in my life... That's why.
Thinking about what i've learn, did and how's my life for that past 1 yr. One word sum up everything: CUI ! (meaning horrendous)
All i can remember was, clinching onto my drawing even thou my eyes can hardly open, having the word "give-up" flowing thru and fro when i'm struggling with the never ending projects. Rejecting my girls invitation to dinner/supper/outing just to rush home and complete my work. One hand reaching for tissue and the other holding onto pencil, trying so hard to concentrate with the drawing while tears just cant stop flowing and making my vision blur at the same time. Wetting all the tracing paper but nothing is done.... On the side note, i feel that i can hardly please all the lecturers !! Sometimes, i try so hard to convince myself that my classmate are all going thru all this shitz too why cant i? My other self tells me becus i've no interest and more bull shitz excuses for me to stop school :(
Yes, im a big crying baby -.-
All i do when i met a problem is: CRY!
The amount of times i cried over this course is scary, talking about this i have and must mention this guy who had stood by me whenever i cry. (no need to read this part)
I know it pains you alot whenever i sob and can hardly talk, having all the stuff stuck at the throat....... But i couldn't control when i hear your voice, its just like a singal telling me that, yes someone is listening just cry, cry it all out.
Also,
thou i always call you up in the middle of the night, not even greeting you first and there goes all the vulgarities in the maximum vol. fiercest tone, and the most horrible attitude ever.
You still hold onto the phone, letting me finish the string of vulgarities then you talk. Yes, of cus you did complain to me about this horrible attitude (im changing, i promise), but still you ain't gonna give up on me :')
Thank you love!
Sometimes, i find it hard to express myself with words, that i hardly tell anyone how i really feel. Soon, i ended up feeling so miserable where i start crying to myself again.
This also conclude why is my temper so bad.
or i'm just too lazy to say how im feeling, its just too difficult.
Im not joking, i cried while doing my very first project and till the last project i can remember doing.... Its on my birthday, i was starring at the tracing paper not knowing what to do as its like the Fourth time im re-doing it. I've really no idea what the lecturer want from me, its always like this! Their instructions were NEVER clear enough for me to understand and by the time i get it, the dateline is next day alrdy?! Okay, i'm still very traumatise by previous course i can never get over it. I do day and night and expect to get at least a B but i got a D+. :(
Im feeling so fuckup now, nothing can describe my feeling, tmr mark the worst awful day of my week, Cb !
1 comment:
Good luck for your next course! :) You will always be remembered. -Raissa
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